The Disgruntled Lira
I make the world go round. I’m powerful. I start wars. People get married to get their hands on me. Remember, Anna Nicole Smith, who married J. Howard Marshall II. Look at how political leaders can change the values of companies to support them in the blink of an eye. It is time for me to confess. I’m only a 10,000 Italian lira banknote. Now worth about seven Canadian dollars. No one kills for or falls in love with me. But I do hold sentimental value for my owner, Renee Mains. She brought me to Canada after her trip to Italy in 1998, and I am stuck in a photo album of her photos and other souvenirs. I miss my homeland, especially being pressed against those 100,000 and 500,000 lira banknotes. As a male, I never felt insecure around these women. The higher the denomination, the more I felt well used as their boy toy. But I had the most fun being in a wallet with a British pound. They were quite frigid, and I enjoyed warming them up. To my chagrin, my family was ster...